Log in

No account? Create an account

A Fresh Coat of Turd Polish

Always Entertaining, Often Dead Wrong

Previous Entry Share Next Entry
Things I Learned at Marscon 2013: How to Have a Really Good Show
  1. Rehearse.
  2. Pick songs within your range.
  3. Have backups of your backing tracks available in multiple formats.
  4. Rehearse!
  5. Make sure all your equipment works before the show.
  6. Always be doing something. Awkward silence is…uh…
  7. Bring some real choreography into your act, not that spastic white boy shit you've been doing.
  8. Lose some freaking weight so you can actually pull off those stupid dance moves you made up.
  9. Rehearse!
  10. Save the werewolf transformation at least until after the third song. You don't want to use up all your "A" material before the end of your set.
  11. Rehearse!
  12. Hydrate!
  13. This doesn't mean turn into a hydra.
  14. Or does it?
  15. No, it doesn't.
  16. ANYWAY!
  17. Be sure to thank everyone who set up the show and helped you get there. Thank your fans, and thank your roadies. If you're big enough to have roadies. Which you are not; You're a comedy musician.
  18. Don't undervalue the visual element. Videos make a great complement to your music.
  19. So do drugs, but most of the good ones are illegal.
  20. You do not have the appropriate physique to wear a vinyl catsuit.
  21. Or a ballgag. You shouldn't be doing that, anyway.
  22. Rehearse!
  23. Have your lyrics memorized! Treat them like your own children.
  24. That is, the children you didn't sell to the circus.
  25. Why the hell did you sell your children to the circus? What's wrong with you?
  26. Rehearse!
  27. Oh my god, what if there's a clone of me trying to kill me and take my place?
  28. Oh my god, what if I'm the clone?!
  29. This is not Hammertime.
  30. Or Numberwang.
  31. Did anyone even get that reference?
  32. If you forget a joke, just move on.
  33. If the audience doesn't get a joke, just move on.
  34. If your girlfriend breaks up with you mid-show, just move on.
  35. Why does this list even have numbers?
  36. What's this red thing on my arm?
  37. Rehearse!
  38. Shut up, Ian.

  • 1
Oh hey! Livejournal! I think it's just you and Tom Smith left on here. Now come tag yourself on all the facebook photos. I don't remember your hyooman name.

Well, I'm not on Facebook anymore. My real name isn't really that hard to find, though. It's on the bio page of my website.

  • 1