New Song! "Christmas in Bizarro World"

(Holy crap, how long has it been? Let's see if I still remember how to do this LJ thing…)

Christmas in Bizarro World (MP3)
Christmas in Bizarro World (Ogg Vorbis)

So Threetails and I had come up with the idea for this song about three or four years ago, and I'd been slowly picking at it here or there but never really being serious about finishing it until this year. I asked Pepper Coyote if he would be interested in doing vocals on this song, not telling him what kind of song it was or even expecting a response. Well, the very next day, he gives me a bunch of lead and backing vocal tracks, and they are just killer. The guy is an absolute pro. I even got him and his roommates to do the intro, which also rocks. Pepper also helped out with the mix and really just made this song so much better than it would have been without him. So thanks to Pepper and all his friends, and a Merry Bizarro Christmas to all of you!


Everybody's gearing up for that special time
See the sleigh bells roast and hear the chestnuts chime
And mutant reindeer rising from a pool of green glowing slime
'Cause it's Christmas in Bizarro World!

When dorky-looking sweaters you will never see worn
Instead of candy we eat liver, sauerkraut, and creamed corn
And the Salvation Army's making all-male porn
It's Christmas in Bizarro World!

It's Christmas in Bizarro World
Jack o'lanterns hung all over the place
And if you stand beneath the misletoe
You just might get shot in the face

Oh, it's time for kids to get the toys and treats they crave
But you only get presents if you misbehave
So hurry up and throw some nickels in the microwave
'Cause it's Christmas in Bizarro World!

There's a zombie Santa crawling up the bathroom john
And nativity scenes appear on every lawn
Of baby Jesus and the shepherds fighting Megatron
It's Christmas in Bizarro World!

Boys and girls will be lining up to sit on Satan's lap
And he'll give them candy and cakes from his windowless van
You'd better keep your eyes open for a jolly, fat, bearded man
'Cause the feds have been chasin' him from town to town
He's knocking off convenience stores and burning houses down

Here, we grunt our carols backwards
And pull horses around in a sleigh
And Topsy-Turvy Hannukah
Is now a Buddhist holiday
And it may seem a little bit shocking
People shouting, “Hope your holiday sucks!”
We don't hang any wreaths or stockings
In fact, no-one really gives a present. Why?

'Cause we're busy hiding eggs and shooting fireworks
The kids still have to go to school, but we don't go to church
The tree at Rockefeller Center's just a pile of dirt
'Cause it's Christmas in Bizarro World

Everybody's celebrating and feeling high
'Cause of all the marijuana in the pumpkin pie
And there isn't any snow because we're still in July
But it's Christmas in Bizarro World!

It's Christmas in Bizarro World!

Written by Kobi LaCroix
Vocals by Pepper Coyote
Intro voices by Mohr, Karnyth, Cosmo Shepherd, and Pepper Coyote


Kobi LaCroix's Precision Vector Brush Set (Some Assembly Required)

Precision Brushes

Download SVG

This is a set of brushes I've created for inking in Inkscape and Illustrator. I've released them in SVG format in order to make them usable in multiple vector drawing programs and enable artists to incorporate them into their own custom brush sets. I made the square brushes 4x4 points, giving some a zero-opacity strip to make them square. I designed the longer brushes to use as "feet". They range from 5 to 17 points long. The images below explain their usage in Illustrator:

Short Foot Example 1Short Foot Example 2Medium Foot Example 1Medium Foot Example 2Long Foot Example 1Long Foot Example 2

I personally don't use even a quarter of these brushes most of the time, but I made as many as I could think of in case others find them useful. I expect to update this set frequently as I design more brushes and try to think of names for the existing ones (suggestions welcome!).



This next week, I will be in Minnesota, visiting family and performing at called Marscon.

Marscon is a Sci-Fi (Or is it SF? I'm not current on the lingo) convention that includes a famous and long-running "dementia" track. It's also where the Logan Awards ceremony is being held this year. I'm going to be performing my nominated song, "The Peddler" at the Logans, and I'm also going to be performing a half-hour set on the main stage. This is my very first time doing a proper, full-length solo concert, and I have to say I'm both nervous and ecstatic and getting this opportunity.

I know a hell of a lot of people have been begging me to go to Marscon, and as much as I had wanted to go, I just never had the time or money for it. This year I've gotten a huge boost from family, friends, and fans who have donated time and money to help get me and other comedy musicians to the con. I can't thank them enough.

And now for some shameless pandering:
If you'd like to support the Marscon dementia track and help out independent comedy artists, There's a fundraiser CD you can buy, full of exclusive live recordings from last year's Marscon, and a ton of music from indie dementia artists.

Or you could, you know, just give all your money to me. I won't mind either way. ;)

So yeah. My half-hour show is on Friday, 9:45 Central Time, and will probably be streaming live at Dementia Radio. The Logan Awards will be on Saturday, beginning at 4 PM Central, and will also likely be live-streamed.


Retiring the Old Werewolf Shirt Oct. 14

Since I've come out with the new "You Say Werewolf Like It's a Bad Thing" shirt, I've decided to retire the old one.

You Say Werewolf Like It's a Bad Thing (Original Design)

Both designs will be available until the old one goes back in the vault on Oct. 14, so there's still time to pick up t-shirts and stickers with either the old or new design.

And, for completeness sake, the 2012 version:
Light VersionDark Version